I have a confession to make, whilst I want to encourage you to allow your mug to be captured on celluloid, I’m slightly guilty of Madge’s Papa Don’t Preach, in that my first reaction the moment someone requests a photo is to become a hive of industry. I’m not suggesting you rush out and buy... Continue Reading →
Collar and Cuffs
Don’t worry, I’m not about to ask you to prove you’re a natural blonde. However, I will let you into one of my personal beliefs and it’s not that the children are our future (although alarmingly at some stage they will inevitably take over the so called free world as we know it) rather I... Continue Reading →
Be An Eleven Out of Ten
If you’re reading this, you may have cottoned on by the title, that I am a ma-hoo-sive Stranger Things fan! Seriously I’ve lost count of the times I’ve binge watched both series whilst unceremoniously anointing myself in crumbs from scoffing one too many chocolate digestives. However, my devotion to it goes beyond the van flips... Continue Reading →
The Hunt For Red October
I’m not going to lie to you, I was a late starter to the world of self-maintenance. That’s not to say I’m averse to hygiene, more I was naïve in keeping up with the times. While my sister conspiratorially discussed VPL with her college friends (which to me sounded nasty and possibly warranted a prescription... Continue Reading →
Mum Tum
If you’re reading this, that means you’re somewhere around the zone I was about 6 years ago, post pregnancy, post breakdown; when I caught sight of my ramshackle self and not only didn’t recognise my face or body, but I was wearing the clothes my mother had purchased for me from Bon March as opposed... Continue Reading →
Smile Like You Mean It
Some monsters don’t lurk under your bed; they lay right beside you in it. I’ll be honest with you, I wasn’t the coolest kid growing up. I’ve never had a ‘squad’ and I’ve always been more geek life than thug life. While everyone wore their Take That and Party t-shirts I was writing to my... Continue Reading →
Mummy Guilt
I suppose the correct universal term is ‘parent guilt’ but stuff the PC brigade, I’m going to be gender specific and divulge my understanding of the blasted mummy guilt. I do concede it is an imposed assumption of wrongdoing that afflicts both parties once you take ownership of a mini-person. The truth is, my first... Continue Reading →
Lullaby
Taut skin and heartstrings You left me Hope begins to pass with each impression of the looking glass Time contracts as do I Close your eyes, stay awhile Hush my babies Eternal lullaby
Grey Worm
I know what you’re thinking; what does that fitty from GoT have to do with accepting your body, but that exquisite example of prime time jailbait is the namesake for my pelvic floor tear which for years I avoided touching, let alone braving the mirror #thelaceswereintheywerein (honestly it looked like a blind man had used... Continue Reading →
Period Pants
I feel like I should begin this with a disclaimer for guys, but then why bother? Guys spend so much time pre-occupied by pussy but drop the word ‘vagina’ or ‘menstruation’ and suddenly they’re repulsed?! But my contempt isn’t reserved for men, I even keep one for myself – the devil makes work for idle... Continue Reading →
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