Drag your mind from the gutter will you. I confess after I’ve drank enough rum to fell a small elephant I’ve been known to flick through the channels and linger voyeuristically over Naked Attraction for longer than I’d care to admit (it’s actually quite liberating as a woman seeing all those Fu-Fus and realising you’re... Continue Reading →
Well now, fancy meeting you here! Fear not, I’m not about to preach the perils of drink, it’s only 5 days into the month and I’m already weeping as I walk past the spirit aisle at Morrisons. Out of stupidity or solidarity, I agreed to do Dry January to support my sister in her attempts... Continue Reading →
Depression isn’t just an illness, it’s also a mask. It hides behind smiles and laughter just as easily as tears. I’ll never be one to tread the boards or quote the bard, but my mental health, when it’s in decline, does turn me into a performer of sorts; an illusionist. For a long time I... Continue Reading →
Buckle up Dorothy, ‘cos Kansas is going bye bye! Okay, perhaps that’s a tad indulgent and underwhelmingly I’m not about to head a resistance against the suffocating amount of artificial intelligence infiltrating the mainstream (yes I’m talking about you Sira and your Alexa mini-botlings *shakes fist and charges EMP*) nor dodge bullets, rather I wanted... Continue Reading →
Plump tears fall upon hollowed cheeks as Caroline concedes the contrary nature of living. That it has taken pulling upon the fine cord of her own mortality for the world to reveal its beauty; a reluctant blushing bride. Or maybe it is nothing more than a cheap parlor trick, or worse, a desperate plea for... Continue Reading →
Unfortunately, I can’t do justice to Michael Stipes’ soaring vocal, but as a teenager I could often be found skulking in corners, eagerly awaiting the comforting blanket of dusk. It was a huge gulf in audience, that leap from junior to secondary school, I’m not too proud to say I didn’t just flounder, I retreated. ... Continue Reading →
I was a clumsy kid; some things don’t change. I’ve lost count of the fractures I accumulated in my early years, but it never bothered me. At that age you attained almost celebrity status once that magical cast was set over your damaged limb. Suddenly kids you never knew couldn’t wait to pen their name... Continue Reading →
Ironically whenever I play that classic ode to slumber by The Chordettes I can’t help but lay awake reminiscing John Candy’s faultless performance as Uncle Buck as opposed to actually closing my eyes and drifting off to the land of nod. For me sleep is an illusive beast. It never used to be such a... Continue Reading →
Looking back, I’ve always had more belief in songs than I have in religion. I don’t mean that to sound derogatory or offensive, in a lot of ways I envy others of such resolute devotion to their chosen institution. But for me, I never really got it, to be honest from a young age I... Continue Reading →
Fear not, I’m not a disgraced medical professional’s widow on the warpath. For one, the last time I went blonde I resembled a mangy rescued mongrel after having to cut out chunks of matted hair with the kitchen scissors, and secondly, my sanity can barely withstand over an hour at a soft play centre with... Continue Reading →
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