Failsafe

After years of hiding out in Document Production I’m soon to embark on a new role as Client Care Associate and as usual imposter syndrome has reared its ugly head. For me it’s the first time I’ll really flex my legal skills since being a residential conveyancer pre-kids/marriage/breakdown (for the sake of clarification the breakdown actually came before the kids and marital status; surprising I know).

How strange it is that the moment we achieve something we immediately are suspicious of our worthiness of it? I think Sylvia Plath put it best when she wisely advised “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt”.

I don’t talk much about my breakdown, mainly because at the time I was barely functioning let alone speaking, and because it’s easier not to. It’s much easier when people ask what I did in that empty window to refer to it as my ‘gap’ year and reference some obscure place than to admit I barely left the sofa, cried at the most stupid things and developed an unhealthy obsession with that guy who presents Homes Under The Hammer.

Can you imagine what we could only achieve if we didn’t live in fear; of not being a good enough parent/sibling/child/colleague. Social media has a subconscious hand in our self-worth, but truthfully the transparent glass ceiling is constructed of our own hand.

We’ve all felt that debilitating heart stopping punch of fear that stops us in our tracks either personally or professionally. It could be that moment when the adjudicator starts the academic clock on your final paper, or a lover that makes you feel anything but – heart hammering, ears pounding, mouth dry…fear has us in its paralysing grip.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way?

The one common factor that fear exudes regardless of circumstance is how it isolates us. Causing us to internally retreat from those around us, promoting partition from our immediate environment.
What if that same fear that conspires to divide us, toys with our emotions and seeks to undermine our ambition wasn’t as forbidding as it would have us believe? What if we could fail safely? What if we never truly failed…only learned.

“Some of the best lessons we ever learn are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom and success of the future”: Dale Turner.

Maybe it’s time to turn that tables on failure. Perhaps it’s time we saw it for what it is, a lesson on growth and a reminder to have the courage to succeed.

Because while the noise of the 21st century might be tinnitus inducing at times and fear can seem crippling when it strikes, it is only temporary, whereas our resolve and courage to press forward we carry with us all the time. Courage streams through our veins. It is present in the constant steady hum of our heartbeat to the way we rise each day ready to great the world anew and if it falters remember the people and resources around you.

My dad used to say that if you enjoy your job then it’s not work and he was, as always, on the money. I think the two most important things when it comes to your career are finding the right team and learning to let go of the fear of failure and while it’s never easy mustering up the courage to take those shackles off, if your struggling then look to the person sat next to you, or you’re go-to buddy on Teams – use your colleagues as your parachute and trust that they will catch you because whilst you might fall, you’ll never fail.